Today you will find out what happens to Rafael and Jessica while they are kayaking out in the open sea without ever taking a kayaking lesson. How do they manage the shark infested waters?
Chapter 7: Luxury Hotels, Kayaks, and Sharks, Oh My!
Yesterday was a lazy, lazy day. To make up for it, we are going to try and cram as much activity into one day as possible. While there is much on the agenda, I am focused on the luxury hotel that we will be checking into at 3:00 p.m. for our last night on the island. We keep walking past it, and it is ridiculously posh.
The Pavilion Hotel is by far the nicest hotel on the island. From the outside, it looks like a private country club where only really rich members get to hang out. There are stylish and comfy chairs underneath beautiful designer umbrellas. I didn’t even know they made designer umbrellas until I saw these beauties.
The Pavilion members walk around in sharp clothes, holding wine glasses and cigars. The women are gorgeous and the men appear to be quite wealthy and important. The Pavilion hotel is the VIP spot on the island and pretty soon we’ll be part of its exclusiveness. I can’t wait.
Nevertheless, I don’t want to let on that I am trying to imagine what the bathtubs look like inside the hotel rooms. I am just as excited as Rafael to go kayaking, jump off cliffs, and maybe even fit some rock climbing in.
We pack up, check out of the At Water Hotel and head over to The Pavilion Hotel. Goodbye eco-grooviness, hello bathtubs!
“You may check your luggage around the corner,” the hotel clerk tells us. “Check-in time is three o’clock.”
We’ve got some time to kill before I can take a bath. Rafael checks our luggage and we head toward the kayaking spot, which is on the opposite side of the island. That may sound like a long distance, but it’s a rather small island. It will only take us about fifteen minutes to walk there.
I’m wearing my black, string bikini today and some new shorts that I got while on the island. I packed a giant bag with thousands of outfits and didn’t pack simple board shorts, even though I knew I was going kayaking. Oh well. I just hated having another excuse to shop.
Rafael had picked out some shorts that read “Catalina Island” across the butt. Being thirty and sophisticated this year, I thought they might be a little too teenagerish for me. Rafael insisted that they were perfect, so I bought them.
“How does my butt look in these shorts?” I ask Rafael, as we are walking toward the kayaks.
It’s a loaded question, I know. I love asking Rafael questions like these. He actually answers pretty honestly and will usually tell me if I look ridiculous.
“Your butt looks great!” he answers, and smacks it to prove his point.
OK then. I will walk with confidence and pretend as though I don’t notice that everyone is reading my butt.
We check in and get our kayak. Because he is so anxious to get on the water, Rafael assures our guide that we’ve both kayaked before and don’t need the tutorial. The last time I kayaked was over two years ago and I could really use a refresher course but remain quiet since Rafael seems to know what he is doing.
“Alright, just hang onto your paddles and I’ll give you guys a push!” says the bleached blond, tan, surfer looking boy that helped us into our kayak. It must be such a rough summer job.
And we’re off!
Now, the last time I kayaked was in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. My boyfriend at the time had a condo on a private beach. There was a little shack on the beach where a few kayaks and snorkeling gear could be rented from an old, sleepy Mexican man who never seemed to take into account the mood of the ocean before renting his gear to a tourist. He’d rent kayaks if the waves were crashing and wild, just as easily as he’d rent them when it was calm and peaceful. Of course, the first time I kayaked, the ocean was raging and spit us back onto shore a few times before finally pulling us out to the deep sea.
It was a full body work out just trying to stay above water and alive on our kayak in Cabo. Simon, my now ex-boyfriend, loved it. He also loved military combat and a number of other life-endangering activities as well. Where do I find these guys?
After kayaking in stormy Cabo waters, I am a wee bit traumatized. All I remember about my first kayaking experience is a racing heartbeat, holding my breath, wondering what the medical system was like in Mexico, panicking, and a tormenting boyfriend who liked to joke that he saw a shark fin. Very funny.
But we are not in Cabo now. We are in Catalina Island waters and I suspect it will be much safer.
“Turn your paddle around, Babe!” Rafael yells from behind me in our kayak. “You’re using it backwards!”
I knew I should have asked for a refresher course. It’s not as though I’ve ever been properly shown how to kayak. Although, when you look at what’s involved, how hard could it really be? There’s just a boat and a paddle. I can do this.
“Are we supposed to paddle in sync or take turns?” I ask Rafael, right after our guide pushes us into the water.
“What?” he yells.
Oh, right. I’m sitting in front of him and facing forward while going out into the ocean. It’s a little hard to hear each other.
“Do we paddle in sync or take turns?” I ask him again, much louder. “Do I paddle right when you paddle right, or do I paddle right when you are paddling left?”
“I don’t remember!” Rafael shouts to me.
Great. Just great. I’m not sure if it is how he was raised or if it’s just his personality but one area that my boyfriend excels in is bullshitting. He will say whatever he needs to say to have the end result be what he desires and people believe him. I believe him, which, given the amount of times he’s bullshitted me doesn’t say much about my intelligence, sadly.
So here we are heading out to sea, both of us completely clueless about how to kayak. I’m sitting in the front which means I’m steering the kayak and should probably know how to turn it.
“If I want to turn right do I paddle on the right side or the left side?” I loudly ask Rafael.
There’s silence from Rafael. I’m pretty sure that he heard me, but just in case, I ask again:
“BABE!” I yell, almost as loudly as I can. “HOW DO I TURN?”
Everyone on shore hears me this time, including our guide who was under the impression that we know what we are doing. Rafael must have heard me.
“I think if you want to turn right, you paddle on the right side and if you want to turn left, you paddle on the left side,” he answers in a tone of uncertainty.
He “thinks”? Oh, why do I ever trust this man? He relies on his charm to make up for some of the things he does that drive me bananas.
Desperately needing to turn left in order to keep us from running into a net on the right, I start paddling on the left side of the boat, as Rafael said. But the kayak starts turning the opposite direction and we are getting closer and closer to being tangled in some sort of fishing net.
“I think you’re wrong!” I tell Rafael. “I think if I want to turn right, I paddle on the left side!”
As I tell him this, I thrust the paddle onto the left side of the boat, paddling as hard as I can. For the first time, I’m really glad that I’ve been using the rowing machine at the gym. My rowing-machine-trained-muscles react quickly enough to turn us to the left and away from the net.
No thanks to the kayaking pro in the backseat.
“Oh yeah!” Rafael says after we are headed in the right direction. “I meant to say that!”
Sure he did. It doesn’t matter though. At this point, we have the basic principles all figured out. We row in sync with each other on the same side of the kayak and when I want to turn the kayak, I paddle on the opposite side. Got it.
We start to glide along the tranquil sea. There aren’t any tremendous waves so paddling is as easy as pie. I look at the sun, the water, and then back at Rafael while smiling. I can’t believe it. I’m actually having fun. My heart isn’t racing; I’m breathing deeply and normally. With all the other kayaks, swimmers, and fishing boats in the water, I’m thinking Jaws won’t be after us today.
“Is that a fin?” Rafael asks me, as though he can read my mind.
What is it with men? Must they all feel the need to make shark jokes while in the middle of the sea? Yet, Rafael is more afraid of the ocean than I am, so I play along with his joke.
“Oh! I think you’re right,” I say looking out at the sea with a serious face.
“It’s moving in a straight line just like sharks do. What do you think we should do?” I ask Rafael in the most non-joking voice I can muster up.
“Really?!” he asks, starting to panic.
“Where?” Rafael asks with his voice quivering.
My lover, Rafael, is tad bit on the innocent and gullible side. While I’m sure I could carry this joke for a few more minutes, I decide not to take too much advantage of his gullibility.
“Nowhere,” I respond to put him at ease. “Don’t mess with me and I won’t mess with you.”
“Oh,” he says with a sigh of relief. “Very funny.”
Yes, yes it was. I give myself props for succeeding in a little bit of payback. While Rafael bullshits as he breathes, I find it really difficult to fool people. I often ruin surprises and blurt out secrets. I don’t know why anyone tells me anything. So the fact that I was able to pull one over on Rafael gives me much satisfaction. We have such a healthy and loving relationship.
Once again, I’m relaxed, at peace, and loving vacation mode. This is just as enjoyable as my morning ocean dip. We row out to a rock with just four other people on it and stop to lie out in the sun for a few minutes. We use our life jackets as towels and sit on them. A man and a woman with English accents and funny swimsuits are collecting sea-glass, which I don’t really see much of. They seem determined, nonetheless.
Lying in the sun, I don’t want to move. But today isn’t lazy day. That was yesterday. Today we are active adventurers with numerous missions. It’s time to get back in the water.
As the people on shore are not kayaking professionals either, we get pushed back into the ocean by a rookie. This means he pushes us out at the exact same time as a giant wave is coming in.
“Oh!” he yells out to us after the wave crashed on my head. “I’m so sorry!”
I decide that being drenched is really the only way to kayak anyhow.
“No worries!” I scream back to shore. “Thanks for the push!”
And I am thankful. We were having some difficulty getting back into the water ourselves, even being the kayaking geniuses that we are.
We play around in the water on the kayak for another thirty minutes or so. By the time we row to shore and return the boat, I feel much more confident about our kayaking ability. Next time, we’ll nail it from the start.
Walking back to the hotel, I start getting excited. Perhaps our room in the fancy Pavilion will be ready early and I’ll get to take a bath! We only have about an hour until our scheduled zip-line tour, so it will have to be a quick bath.
Thank you for tuning into JQ TIME: A Blonde's Perspective.
Coming up next: Does Rafael get Jessica and himself in trouble when he tries illegal and dangerous moves on the zip-line? Also coming up soon, find out what happens to Jessica's girlish figure after eating French fries at every meal and never working out while on the island.
Please, stay tuned!
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